yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
