just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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