I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
