I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
