Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
