Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
