So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
