You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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