Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
