last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
