Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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