I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Randomize
