it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
