so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
