this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You need a sexual gate keeper
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
