i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
she smelled like a LAN party
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
