just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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