So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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