All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I want to make a zoo with you.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
