Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Just invented taco cereal.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
