Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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