Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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