yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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