At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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