so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
