It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
