you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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