thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
