She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
