I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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