Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize