So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
