you turned your livingroom into a bong?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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