I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize