Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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