dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
My life is pants optional.
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