Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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