My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
