Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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