i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
