i just had sex bonerless
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
