Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Thank you for not boning my boss.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
