I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize