I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
