Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
that's an acceptable place to lick
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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