sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
