Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Randomize
