I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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