he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
