We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
