The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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