so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
is wine microwaveable?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
