We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
