ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
