i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
