I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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