I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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