What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
