he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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