I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
