census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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