I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
