News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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