if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
too bad you live with your parents still
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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